2005-03-02 - 9:31 a.m.

So..........

****

The morning started out right with a wonderful redition of "Clean Up The Dog's Puke From Off of The Carpet". **Sigh of appritiation and satisfaction** A very nice and refreshing way to start off the morning. And that was followed with a wonderful performance of the beatiful senario called "A Dad's Wrath Upon Teenage Daughter Who is Being Made to Clean the Floor Where His Dog Hath Puked" oh my! I just can't believe how lucky I was this morning. :D Blessing,blessings, blessing. . . and THEN, we have the performance that everyone loves and critcs beg for, "Father Phyciatrist Shrinking Daughter" That one is my favorite. and lucky me, I get to watch it almost every day!

Hahaha. . . a day in the life of a drama queen and her family which insipres much drama. **Yeah, my morning went badly, and right when I think that everything will get better that quiet voice in the back of my mind gently says to me in a fakey New York tough Guy accent, "Yo, stupid! Yeah, I'm talking to you, dummy! This day is gonna' suck, just face it. The kids at babysittin' are going to finally realize what a bum you are and loath you. Tonight at youth group, you're gonna make a fool outtah yourself, what else is new? And Cameron's not gonna come because he hates you, and you're probably going to overeat and ruin your life. All in one day, aren't you excited?" (He's not a very nice little voice, and I don't know why it's a New York man, it just seemed to fit the moment. I think I shall call him Bruce, again I don't know why.) Yes, this is the voice of my (forgive me any guy who may be reading this, and feel free to skip a few lines!) period! He visits me every month and we have a nice little reuinion where he calls me fat and ugly and I believe him and then I cry and then I get over it and then I he tells me my life is pointless and then I question my existance and then I cry and then I get over it and then he and I sit and watch sappy peanut butter commercials and we cry together and then we get over it and then he tells me what I desperately need to make me feel better is food and then I have to fight him and I'm very hungry because he told me I was and then I get over it and then I kick him out and he stays away for a while but next month he comes back and we repeat our little reunion. It's a very functional and happy relationship we have going. tee hee. I'm done now and you guys can read once more. Anyway, my bad mood must be anhialated and so how do I escape? Writing of course! So here I am with nothing interesting to say.

Dang.

Well that didn't work. But I did succesfully quiet Bruce for a while, so that's good. But now he's speaking once more and is telling me I'm waisting time sitting here typing something no one really reads. Hold on I must tell him that I've already done my homework and I'm free to 'waste' as much time as I want. **** He said he knows, but there are many more productive ways to spend my time then allowing my fat butt to become great in size as I sit here and write. Hold on I must tell him that my fat butt is starving right now so i have no energy with which to do anything BUT sit here and write and it's all his fault. **** And now bruce sounds like my father repeating the conversation we had this morning.

Dad: You shouldn't blame anyone but yourself, you should've read the instruction on the bottle.

Alicia: The bottle said Bissel FLOOR CLEARER!!! And I'm supposed to assume I can't use it on carpets? They couldn't have called it TILE CLEANER?? They should've written it on the front, not the back in itty bitty letters!

Dad: Or maybe you should learn how to take some of the blame. Maybe People should know to read cleaning instructions before beginning.

Alicia: Whatever, dad, I'm too tired to discuss this right now. (Meaning I couldn't come up with a good comeback, I hate when that happens.) *Dad exits stage left.*

Michelle (little sister): He's always so clam!

Alicia: No, he just always SHRINKS everything! He doesn't understand the concept of seperating work and family. at least he doesn't charge us, count your blessings, right?

Yes, I think that's how it went. Great, now the grumpy Bruce is telling me that I now have something to feel potentially guilty about. If dad dies before I see him again, the last words I would've said would've been mean. I kind of want to draw bruce now. tee hee, i can just inagine a short stout man with a bear belly and stubble telling me I'M fat and ugly. hahahah! Hooray for funny little men who talk inside my mind!

Anyway, i guess I don't really have anything genuinely interesting to write about because nothing has really had time to happpen. So Here I sit, wasting time and Bruce is beginning to convince me to get off, so we're leaving and I'll write tonight after our youth group thing to tell you if Bruce was right or not. *Kisses*
alicia
p.s Yes, eagarner, aren't notes nice? Bruce says you could return the favour!! lol, just kidding, don't listen to Bruce if you don't want to, you'll eventually learn to drown him out! *But a note would be nice ;)*
Alicia

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